Among other things..

Among other things, like my home life and devotion to my field hockey team.. I'm losing my head over shit. I'm 17, and wondering, I'm 17 and pondering... I'm 17 and... and I just don't know anymore. Life as it was is no more and the future looks blurry and sore. Complications have jumped up at me without warning.. at all. I feel like giving out a scream of frustration, a loud expression of how I feel. It's as if I'm drowning in my troubles, whose going to be my lifeguard.. my helping hand?
I can't make up my mind either. I should or should not holler for help, give a warning or show some distress. For all the rest who have a great life and whatnot, here is my suggestion to you from me my little nanny suckers. Don't enlarge your teeny high school dramas, keep your thoughts that you know will hurt others to yourself, be a good person.. leave that I'm a gangster and thug shit for the losers and wannabes.
I'm not amused with my self, I'm in some serious need of enlightenment too. This shit is killing my focus and my creativity but.. I'm an artist and from pain and distress comes beauty and glorious wonders that can't be explained in one single sentence. Come again? That I'm totally insane and incapable of making sense.. well I've known that for ever.

This feeling of hopelessness is just for now.. it has to be for my sake. Among other things.... I'm feeling sound.