Now when I say this, that I'm afraid of what I don't know I really mean that I know what it is. I just don't want it. And I can't remember the last time I said 'I don't know' to someone and really meant it. Before I get asked a question concerning my future I know what my future is, to an extent. Everything is based on choices, and as soon as I make a choice I know what’s in store. Right then and there I know the consequences, the pros and cons and all I don’t actually know is how I’m going to counter act my choice whether it was right or wrong.
Saying ‘I don’t know’ because I don’t want anyone else to know, and having no idea why I want to keep that from people always hangs over my head. How can I put this in a way that makes sense? I don’t know if I can, but I am practicing escapism and being the athlete that I am I can run. So I hate facing the music, it makes me anxious and just want to drop, plop, slip, slap dead on the ground and have nothing to do with anything.
Hmm, now that I think about it... I might have a problem with responsibility, the verb or taking responsibility, showing face for my choices, taking ownership of the shit my dog left at the corner of Cambridge and South Union.
It’s easy to point and say that it’s not my fault, disgustingly easy, so easy that its involuntary.
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